The Weekender

We've officially moved into the low season here in Amsterdam. This doesn't mean that we don't have guests, it just means that the types of guests change. During the summer we get people who are here to see the city. They stay for several days and are usually polite and respectful of the hostel rules. During low season we get a different type of guest...the Weekender.

The weekender comes in a group of 6-8 people, usually of the same sex (usually male). They are usually from England, Italy, or Spain and they have one purpose here in Amsterdam.....PARTY! They will enter the hostel speaking loudly and make it impossible to hear anything over them, let alone be heard. The receptionist will have to shout at the top of their lungs for everyone to quiet down. They might acknowledge the request on about the third try. When they finally quiet down enough to check in , the receptionist will ask for their booking number. Inevitably they've lost this number and they can't remember who's name the reservation was under. After searching for twenty minutes you finally find their reservation. Unfortunatly they booked online and when they saw that the hostel was full for men they decided to reserve themselves a space in a girls dorm instead. They protest loudly that they didn't know and demand to know why they can't just stay in a girls room. If they are not English they will become progressivly louder as they make their demands. At some point the receptionist will inform them that no matter how loudly they yell we won't understand Spanish (french, italian). Eventually the manager will come out to see what the ruckus is about. After much negotiation it will be decided that we can make up floor beds for the guys in one of the dorms. They will be satisfied for a few moments until it is time to go over the hostel rules. Another loud conference will be held when they are informed that the hostel has a curfew and is drug and alcohol free. Said guests will attempt to find ways around the rules by any means possible. If the receptionist is female they will make lame attempts to charm their way into special privileges. If this doesn't work they will begin asking if they can speak to the night man to ask to be let in late. Again their plans will not work and they will go to their rooms grumbling about how cruel it is to lock people out and how they thought this was a "Christian hostel." (We will hear the phrase, "but I thought this was a Christian hostel" about 100 times a day and used in relation to everything from lost reservations to unmade beds). Over the course of the next few hours they will send down various representatives to attempt again to have the rules bent for them. Eventually they will run out of representatives and will start asking for directions to bars that are open all night instead. Around 10 pm the one or two of them will leave and return a few minutes later with alcohol in hand in order to start their party night off right. The receptionist will confiscate the alcohol and remind them that they are not allowed to drink inside the hostel. They will claim that they didn't know and return upstairs. A few minutes later a different pair of them will go out and return quickly with a poorly concealed grocery bag containing , big surprise here, more alcohol. Unfortunatly reception will be super busy at this point so the receptionist fails to see them come in and it won't be until later that we realize what happened. Around midnight the crowd of them will file past reception laughing and talking loudly, the smell of alcohol wafting behind them. They will make one more query about staying out past curfew and then leave angrily discussing the "stupid rules" as they head to the nearest night club. Around 4 am the nightman will be startled out of his weary daydreaming by the sound of someone pounding on the door and repeatedly ringing the doorbell. He will speak to them over the intercom where they will beg to be let in. The nightman will refuse and tell them to come back at 7. Five minutes later they will return and begin pounding on the door again. Again the nightman will tell them to go come back at 7. Around 7 am the group will stumble through the door smelling strongly of alcohol and marjuana. They will barge into their dorm room, turn on the lights, and wake up everyone in the room with their antics. They will then fall into their beds and sleep until noon. Later they will complain about being woken up by the cleaning staff in the middle of the day. At some point in the afternoon they will come down and ask for directions to the Heiniken brewery and leave. Around dinner time they will return to the hostel and head upstairs. About 3 minutes later the smell of marjuana will begin to drift down the stairs. The manager will hurry up stairs to find the group sitting on their beds smoking together. Their pipes will be confiscated (we're getting quite a unique collection these days) and they will be warned that if they break the rules again they will be asked to leave. At around 3 am another guest will come downstairs to complain that someone is smoking marjuana in the room. The nightman will go up, giant maglite in hand, to deal with the situation. The marjuana will be confiscated once again and the group will be told that they must leave first thing in the morning. The nightman will also ask the girl who they snuck in (who isn't even staying at the hostel) to leave. The next morning the whole group will angrily leave the hostel, demanding back their money, their alcohol, and their pipes and drugs. They will collapse with all their bags in front of the hostel door and preceed to light up as they try to plan where they are going to go that night, blocking the street and the front door in the process. Everyone coming in and out must wade through a cloud of marjuana smoke as well as endure the obnoxious rantings of the former weekend guests.

The above might be a slight exageration, but every event described has happened in various combinations since I've been here.