One-way Ticket on an Eastbound Plane.....

Yesterday I bought a one-way ticket to Amsterdam. The concept of a oneway ticket in itself is kind of a scary thing. It says, "I don't know when I'm coming home." or even "I'm not coming home." Now technically I do know when I'm coming home, but it's quite a ways in the future. Well, it is for me. You see this will be not only the longest I've ever been away from home, but also the first time I haven't been with my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't get me wrong I'm really really excited about going and I'm convinced again and again that this is where I need to go, but at the same time I'm scared. I think it would be rather naive to not be. I believe that this is going to be one of the best things I ever do in my life. I also think it's going to be the hardest. I think it's going to be hard because of the nature of the ministry. I think it's going to be hard because of the heart breaking situations that I'm going to encounter on a daily basis. I think it's going to be hard because the whole living/ working situation is stressful. But most of all I think it'll be hard because of the internal struggle. The struggles of self doubt and fear. Or worse the struggle against apathy or the temptation to take the easy road. I think there will be good times, but I know that once the excitement of being in Europe wears off I will likely be meeting one of the greatest challenges of my life.
I've known this, at least unconsciously, all along, but now with a ticket in hand and a greatly diminished bank account, it all feels more real.

On a related note: I've been reassured and reconfirmed that I'm doing the right thing by so many people, friends and strangers alike. I've been so blessed by their encouragement. I wish they could understand truly how much it means to me.