Waiting for God(ot)

I hate waiting. I've never been particularly patient. I like solutions and results immediatly. I like to know where I'm going. I don't like it when things are out of my control.

This week I've had the flu. Today was the first time I even left my apartment since I went to the doctor on Tuesday. As I'm sure everyone would agree, being sick isn't any fun at all. For me it's especially challenging because I don't like to be still. I especially don't like to be inactive when I have things I need to be doing. This flu thing came at a rather inconvenient time for me as I am in the middle of my senior capstone project and preparations to leave for Haiti. I just don't have time to be sick. Unfortunatly my body disagreed and decided that I wasn't going to be allowed to do any work (I think it was conspiring with my mother who is always telling me to calm down). So for the past 2 days I have laid on the couch and done basically nothing. It's all rather frustrating to me to have things so out of my control, but it has given me sometime to think....

As I said I hate waiting....on anyone. And I've always had a hard time waiting on God. But this year God has forced me to wait....I suppose all of college he has done so, but especially this year. When I started college I thought I would have everything figured out by Christmas of my freshman year. Sophemore year I thought I would have it all figured out by the time junior year started. Junior year was the same. And as I began my senior year I was determined that I would have my 5 year plan by Christmas. Christmas came and went and I still had not so much as a six month plan, let alone a 5 year one. I returned to school barely concealing my freaking out. Finally several weeks after returning to school I made a sort of decision and applied for a program. Now I'm waiting again to see if I'm accepted. Once again it's all out of my hands (as if it ever really was in my hands) If I'm not accepted I guess I'm back to square one, but I'm trusting that if I don't get this that there is a reason and God will open a different door for me.